- I must use my intro to explain WHO the drug-users were. I state that it's educated college students but that is a pretty big statement - who are they? why did they turn to drugs? how did they turn to drugs? More specifically, what contextual issues led them to drug use.
- I need to explicate my definition of "drug" use in the Sixties. I explain what psychedelics are- LSD, marijuana and magic mushrooms- but I don't explain to the reader that what the hippies/youth/counterculture viewed as drugs (hallucinogenics which allowed mind expansion) varied greatly from what Western values dictated as drugs (and therefore what the elder society viewed as drugs) which was along the lines of "marijuana leads to LSD which leads to cocaine which leads to heroine" and lumped all illegal substances together as "BAD DRUGS." This shows how the drug culture challenged the basic values of western culture, sets the basis of my argument and establishes the idea of a counterculture from the beginning of my work. I guess this flaw comes down to the problem that I've read my sources so many times I've begun assuming the audience KNOWS what I am insinuating. This is BAD! I will need to reread my project with this in mind and remember that my audience will approach my major with very little previous knowledge. It is my job to elucidate the issues and make reading it easy.
- Sir pointed out that I have not really explained what I mean by "parental society" and once he had identified this I realised it needed attention. I will have to formulate a succinct explanation of this group and evidence my reasoning (Roszak should come in handy here- it's definitely his area).
- I need to put in a sentence which explains that Timothy Leary was in a qualified and well-credentialed position to influence the youth. It's important to show that the drug culture didn't just appear - it was very much a product of its times and the characters present.
- Might need to adjust some of my qualifiers... a bit too emotive at times.
- I need to shift my explanation of "turn on, tune in, drop out" from the last argument to the first - silly girl.
- Sir agreed with my idea for the conclusion. I will depict the recent exploitation of the "good sixties" and the "bad sixties" for political agendas - yay!
That's all that has come up so far, but I suspect once I've corrected some of the holes in my earlier arguments it will have flow-on effects for the rest of my project. I will begin altering my draft and hand in a revised copy early next week.
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