Major Project Progress

Yesterday I met with Mr Carragher at recess to receive feedback on my second draft for my major. Overall, it was a lot more positive than last meeting and I seem to have made quite a bit of leeway. My major is beginning to become a lot more complex and the arguments are no longer one dimensional. I was pretty excited that my introduction has been given the okay, so that's one aspect of my major done! The major issue was my final argument and the way that the essay flows.

• Flow of the essay: After removing the headings which originally demarcated my arguments, the essay has become increasingly static and jumpy. It doesn't quite flow in the way I would like it to and at times this can be frustrating for the reader. Also, due to the complexity of my topic, the structure can be a little overwhelming for the reader - remembering that they will be essentially ignorant of my topic. I will tackle this issue by adding a couple concluding sentences to the end of each argument. These sentences will serve to sum up the argument and remind the reader how the history has progressed thus far. It will provide the essay with a better flow and allow the reader to collect their thoughts and really take in the arguments. Hopefully, this will solve the problem.
• Final argument: As I'd expected, my final argument isn't quite up to scratch. My writing style diminishes and I don't explicate important details. This really comes down to its positioning in the essay, I was so eager to complete my essay that I didn't do a very good job. It is a very difficult argument to structure as essentially these historians utilise all arguments indiscriminately and temper them to suit their needs. Sir pointed out that this is in actuality going to serve two purposes; it will express my final argument AND sum up all previous arguments in order to conclude the essay. Therefore I will need to place the majority of my evaluation in this section and really finalise the project. This will be the most challenging aspect of my project, though I hope it comes together well.

I have fixed the minor issues I discussed with Sir - such as syntax and emphasis - and I will get to work fixing the bigger issues immediately. Hopefully, my third draft will be in by Monday and then I will complete a fourth draft and begin workshopping it with Mrs Russo.